Tag Archives: breaking up

April 2, 2013 · 2:35 pm

Break-Offs And Breakups: How To End Things Gracefully

by Sabrina Cohen

Rejecting someone—especially after you’ve gone on one or four dates—can be awkward and anxiety provoking. When a MeetMoi dating cycle has run its course, how you choose to end things speaks volumes. We’ve included the most common modes of breaking it off below, along with our insights on delivering each with grace.

1) The blow off might be the best route if your relationship was casual (no intimacies exchanged—sexual or otherwise) or brief (less than three dates, say). It’s a non-verbal hint that works nicely.

2) The hint occupies the middle ground. Being physically unavailable and downgrading your contact to succinct, non-flirtatious texts sends the no-interest signal clearly—without spelling it out. If he or she misses the memo, move onto method #3.

3) It’s absolutely possible to deliver the direct rejection without pandering or pitying. Avoid clichés like, “it’s not you, it’s me.” Instead, give him or her something real. Maybe you didn’t feel the chemistry. Maybe it freaked you out that he seems overly eager to get into a relationship. Our advice: keep it short, positive, and straight-up honest.

Be compassionate, and focus on what feels right to you, not on the person’s reaction. Remember, most people just want to hear the truth so they can move on with clarity and insight.

How do you typically end things? Share your comments below!

Sabrina Cohen is a blogger, copywriter, and creative consultant for MarketSmiths.com.

 

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August 1, 2012 · 4:55 pm

5 ways to know she’s definitely not interested in a second date

By Natasha Burton

As many guys know, women can be hard to read sometimes. Part of this is because we’ve been taught that showing how we really feel about a man will only scare him away — and we are less often told that these kinds of men are precisely the kind we should be avoiding.

But, whatever the reason (not wanting to appear too interested, nerves), you may not exactly know if an Intro is interested in a second date after your first meet-up, so here are some ways to tell that she’s definitely not. While some of these signs might seem rather obvious, you’d be surprised how many men misread them and continue their fruitless pursuits. Don’t be that guy.

1. She turns the other cheek.

If you go in for the kiss at the end of your date, and a girl turns her lips away from yours to present you with her cheek (or she simply dives into a hug so you miss her face altogether), she’s not simply oblivious to the move you’re trying to pull … she just doesn’t want her lips to touch yours. For some of us, kissing means something special — it’s the catalyst for that butterflies-in-the-stomach, rush of potential love feeling we crave. If a woman doesn’t seem to want to feel that, she’s just not feeling you.

2. She returns your calls with texts.

If you call your intro to thank her for a great time and ask when you can see her again and she doesn’t call you back, she’s not “busy” and she doesn’t “hate the phone” — she’s just not into you enough to invest her time in talking to you. Also, women who only text you back not only aren’t interested in going out with you again, they might feel bad about blowing you off and don’t have the emotional maturity to call you up to actually tell you that. Consider this a bullet dodged.

3. She stalls when you try to secure a second date.

If you attempt to ask a gal out for date number two, and she likes you, she’ll immediately give you a couple options of nights she might be free to meet up. If she doesn’t really want to see you again, she may not come right out and tell you (for fearing of hurting your precious feelings). Instead, she’ll tell you that she “might have a friend in town this week” or she’s “not sure what her plans are yet,” stalling as long as she can and hoping that you’ll just get the hint. Take it.

4. She keeps you guessing about where you stand.

Some guys love the cat-and-mouse game of the chase, and some girls play it because they’re well aware of this. But, at some point, a mature woman who is actually into you will stop the shenanigans and let you know where you stand in her eyes — and her heart. If your intro keeps playing the role of the tease, she either doesn’t know how to have an adult relationship (and enjoys keeping you hooked to her line), or she’s too scared to tell you the truth — that she doesn’t like you as much as you like her. 

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June 11, 2012 · 8:24 pm

How to break up with someone you’re seeing casually

By Dawn Papandrea

When you’ve been out with someone a few times and had a reasonably decent time, breaking things off can make you feel guilty or awkward or worse — even mean. But sometimes you’re just not feeling it, and you can’t see yourself investing any more time in a relationship that you know isn’t going to progress. When you decide it’s time to break up, here’s how to do it with some finesse…

You have to actually do it. Don’t just disappear, stop answering texts, and ignore voicemails. It’s a cowardly way out, and eventually, karma will put the two of you together in the same venue and you’ll have to deal with an awkward confrontation. Treat your former mate with some respect by being up front.

Avoid classic break up clichés. Hopefully you haven’t been on the giving or receiving end of “It’s not you it’s me,” or “let’s just be friends,” but if you have, you know it’s a whole lot of BS. Instead, offer some kind of explanation during your break up talk as to why it’s not working out. It could be vague such as you’re not ready to be serious or specific, such as you’re going to be traveling a lot for work and it’s not going to work.  When all else fails, you can always say you’re interested in someone else.

Don’t play the blame game (unless it’s warranted).  Avoid a big scene by not saying things like “you’re too stalkerish” or “you don’t pay enough attention to me.” It’s OK to point out wrongdoing if the person is overtly rude (like if he or she stood you up) or nasty (just not cool) or untrustworthy (if he or she is lying now, get out).

Choose a semi-public place and have an exit plan. Have “the talk” while walking outside, or over a cup of coffee, but make sure you arrive separately and have a means to get home on your own. It’s probably not a good idea to break up at either of your apartments since it can linger on longer that you’d like it to.

Be careful of timing. It’s just cruel to break up with someone on his or her birthday, right before Valentine’s Day or the same day someone close to them goes into the hospital. But the truth is, there is no perfect time, so if you’re ready to do the deed, getting it done sooner rather than later is better than leading the other person on.

Don’t type out a break up. Ideally, you owe the person you were seeing a face-to-face goodbye, but at the very least, having a phone conversation is a good backup plan. Don’t ever text, FB, email, or tweet a breakup, though.

Being a good breaker upper is an art form, one that might even leave you with some lasting non-romantic friendships once perfected.

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