By Natasha Burton
When you meet up with an Intro, presumably you want to put your best foot forward, as does the person you’re meeting up with. However, sometimes life has other plans — and these mishaps can often be confused for red flags. Here are some supposed first date dealbreakers that could actually be forgivable, depending on the circumstances.
Your Intro is Late
When you’re meeting someone on a fly, you have little time to figure out where the place you’re meeting actually is and the best way to get there. If your Intro is late for your first meet-up, don’t automatically assume he or she is a flake. Bus schedules aren’t always reliable, traffic can be unpredictable and GPS doesn’t always know where that little tucked-away cafe is actually located. If lateness becomes a habit, well, that’s another story.
Your Intro Arrives Disheveled
Since meet-ups can happen at a moment’s notice, you just never know when an Intro might want to grab a cup of coffee or a drink. While on a typical, planned-for-days date, you should expect the person to be all spruced up, not so on a meet-up. Which is actually a good thing: There’s less pressure on you to be perfectly polished and you get to see your intro in his or her no-frills natural element — how he or she will typically look for the majority of your potential relationship.
Your Intro Texts During the Meet-Up
Okay, now checking your phone during a date is totally rude. But, given the aforementioned impromptu nature of meet-ups, you do have to understand that your date may have some unfinished work business or family issue that he or she wasn’t able to resolve earlier in the day. What makes taking a text, or even a call, during your date excusable is how your Intro handles the interruption: If he explains why he must take the focus off the meet-up and is quick to take care of his business, then you can give him the benefit of the doubt . (But if he’s simply texting at will throughout the date? Heck no!)
Your Intro Goes to Use the Bathroom … And Leaves You Hanging for Over 20 Minutes
If this happens, don’t automatically assume that your intro is calling his or her best buddy to dish about how the meet-up is going or that he or she is stalling for an equally uncourteous reason. Look, when nature calls, we all have to answer. So, be patient while you wait instead of jumping to some outlandish conclusion that he or she was being “rude” by leaving you hanging.
Your Intro’s Credit Card Gets Declined
A friend of mine went on a first date with a guy at a very expensive restaurant that he insisted on taking her to, only to find out that the place only took cash, of which he had none. When he tried to use the ATM down the street to get money, he discovered that his debit card had expired, leaving my friend to foot their large bill. In that case, the guy should have had more forethought, not only about the restaurant’s requirements but his own financial situation. But if your Intro tries to pay for her martini, only to find out her card’s been frozen because she just got back from Europe and her bank thinks something’s fishy, I think you can let her slide.